Dear neighbors.
 

Dear, Neighbors. Thanks for calling code enforcement on me because my lawn is brown right now. Forget last summer, when it was lush and green, let's focus on now, when it's a nice wintery brown. My best description of you dictates that you are most likely from some tropical land and you feel obligated to make sure everyone around you shares the same enthusiasm about watering their lawn in near freezing conditions we are experiencing during the late AM hours. I wouldn't know who your are and what you are about because you haven't introduced yourself to me. It's only been 6 years. It's probably for the best. I would also like to apologize for the massive tree branch that fell in my yard due to the 80+ mph winds we had two weeks ago. I should have hired a group of illegally employed workers to rectify that promptly. I didn't though. My bad. I was busy struggling to support my family of four against all odds and against this states skewed ideal of who should live here. Thanks for your choice in home decor. The five shades of blue on your house is becoming of our neighborhood and I'm quite sure the rest of our neighbors agree with your superior intellect in home improvement. Do you know Tim Taylor? I don't even think he uses spray paint to paint his shutters. In closing, my suggestion to you is to stay the fuck away from me. I'm sure you haven't had the opportunity to feel a redneck's foot in your ass and I'm quite certain you don't want to.

Well put. :clapping:

Was this letter nailed to the door?

^ No. It was actually taped to my door with duct tape.

Just have your kids turn on your freakin sprinklers once a week, they'd prob enjoy it.

I hate people that have nothing bhetter to do than get their nose into other peoples buisiness.

Some people just dont make any sense to me at all. You have the people that want you to conserv water, yet complain that your grass is turning brown. Some people are just never happy.

Just do what i do when my neighbors start being bitches. I play loud heavy metal music right next to the fence and leave it on till late into the night (9 or 10) and then turn it on again the next morning. do that for a few days an they shut the hell up good.

Leave the letter on the door, eventually they'll come knocking, when they do, make sure you answer the door nekkid, problem solved.

It is also occasionally possible to talk to people to resolve whatever the underlying tensions are. :huh:

Not a bad idea if they listed whom was making the complaint. But you know that'll never happen because the odds of the complainer being shot increase exponentially....;)