Quote:
Originally Posted by Vettezuki
There are probably three things any couple must agree pretty tightly on or it WILL blow up in there face eventually.
1 - Kids. If one wants them and the other doesn't, you're going to have problems. Period. One must accept the position of the other. In my personal case I kind of wanted them and my wife did not, then fate intervened with a medical issue and that was that. But I'd be lying if I won't forever have some curiosity. Plus I think we can all agree I'd be about the coolest fucking dad ever. But the important part is that I understood and accepted my wife's position so I have no regrets. But if,as is more common, a woman strongly wants children as a life goal and has her identity tied up with it, and doesn't get them, she WILL have serious psychological issues as a result and those WILL affect the dude. You have to be reading from the same music on this.
2 - Money and work. If one is a tight wad and the other is a big spender, disaster is only a matter of time. Likewise if one prefers time and being together, doing stuff and the other is a severe work-a-holic, disaster is only a matter of time. Women get curious too, and more than a few have drifted to another man because their significant other was more commited to their job.
3 - Religion/spirituality. Also related to kids. If the parents have different faith traditions, they need to be in agreement on what they are going to teach or expose to their kids. What you don't want is a Holy War in the house.
This is the kind of shit couples really need to work out before they start getting serious about coupling for life. Especially before they unintentionally start making kids.
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not sure where i implied we didnt have a handle on this, i completely agree so let me set the record straight.
1. I'm being fixed on the 9th, plain and simple. IF i were to want kids, and thats a huge IF cause i generally cant stand kids, at all. And i teach them as a requirement for certain certifications, thats it. She is the same way, she cant stand kids and doesnt want them. If for some odd reason 20 years down the line we both want kids i see adoption being just as much of an option as natural birth, there are plenty of kids in the world, hell in our own country who dont have homes, why would they be less of an option?
2. Money and work. I work hard cause i play hard, i dont work hard because i have nothing better to do. I work hard because there is so much better to do. I'm pretty good with my money, or at least i think so. My attainments ive made with hiw little i get paid is pretty awesome in my opinion. Vanessa also is a great saver. Ron hit the nail on the head, everything i purchase i make sure i can afford with my own money alone. This way she is able to finish schooling uniterupted. And any money she brings in is all gravy and fun. :umber one priority is not to put us on hold for stupid things, date night is a mandatory weekly thing. I make sure it happens every week regardless of the shit i have going on. I also have no issue putting off work for a day when she just need a hug or a get away. You dont get extras after life for ignoring your beloved for work.
3. Religion, we're both not very religious, simple. We have a certain guidline of decency towards each other. No cheating etc. Dont have to be religious to be a good person. I guess you can say my religion is my honor of the martial arts. Or bushido(budo) if you will.